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+2 Casual Sunday - "Imposter Syndrome"

4/3/2016

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Yesterday was smooth, and I ran nearly the entire distance. It was rainy, but it was a strong run. The results were acceptable and my heart rate governed the pace ensuring I wouldn't go too fast. Overall, an adequate run. I felt energized. My feet were a little sore, and my calves were a bit tight. All normal and to be expected.

Today was a different story. Beautiful and sunny outside, it was a little cool. Perfect weather for running. Since my wife and daughter arrived home from their spring break trip late, this morning started late. The workout began with strength training. Not much, but a bit. It jacked up my heart rate, then I hit the road. I couldn't get 200 yards before the heart rate monitor was beeping, announcing I'm over my threshold. I used the same strategy as yesterday - slowing down to slow my heart rate, and shifting to a walk if the thing beeped three times. I couldn't stabilize under my target while running. No matter how slow I ran, I'd hit the high end of the range. So I walked, focusing on form. It was a fast walk, but still. A walk. The focus right now is building the base, and knowing it'll improve. This is the beginning. Day 2. But to think this morning when I woke up I was thinking about Boston.

As I woke up, I was excited to get going. I looked up a training program online to see when I'd hit 13 miles, and see if there's a half marathon to run in the area around that time. Then thoughts wandered to Boston and "wouldn't it be great if . . . " thinking. The reality is I am SO far away from a BQ time that to even THINK about entertaining it in 2016 is a monumental stretch. Impossible. Regardless, the Marine Corps Marathon is after qualifying times would be taken for the 2017 Boston Marathon anyway. With all that said, the "Boston 2017 or Bust" is shifting from RUNNING Boston in 2017 to QUALIFYING for Boston in 2017. Starting with MCM on October 30th, we'll see how close I can get. Who knows? Perhaps I can break 4:00:00.

Which brings me to the book I'm listening to on Audible. I downloaded "Presence" after hearing Amy Cuddy's TED Talk. So far, so good. During most of my run, she addressed the concept of Imposter Syndrome, which is when people don't feel like they deserve what they've earned, and feel like others will "find them out" and deem them an "imposter." It resonated with me, and it would with everyone based on the research done for the book. In particular, I remember thinking that way about the Chicago Marathon - before, during and after. And I remember thinking that way last year as I threw out the lofty goal of wanting to qualify for Boston, and finishing third in my age group in the BattleFrog obstacle course race and the Lone Sailor / Wounded Warrior 5K. I remember making excuses for why I finished as well as I did, and that somehow "I wasn't that good." The reality is I WAS that good. Am I as good as I COULD be? No, and I wasn't as good as I could've been at either of those two events - but I can't change that. And even if I could, I still finished THIRD IN MY AGE GROUP. And that's a good place to start - if I didn't take the last several months off.

So for now, I've run a Chicago Marathon (however unimpressive the time), and a few other races between here and there. I've learned a lot along the way, in particular that consistency is key. No surprise here, but if you want to run a long distance, you need to be strong. Put in the work, get the results. 

1 Comment
South Carolina Steel Roofing link
2/5/2023 02:57:13 pm

Great post, thank you.

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    Run On, Sentences follows the path of the author as he evolves from a lackluster inaugural marathon time to pursue a qualifying time for the Boston Marathon. Along the way, he'll deal with the challenges of a short attention span, growing older and the chaotic calendar of a husband, father, corporate executive, and active member of the community.

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